Witan 1s 4 - 4 Old Tenisonians Reserves
Witan 1s came into the game, nervously looking over their shoulder as the relegation prospect of playing in Division 1 South was becoming too unbearable to contain. Travelling to Old Tenisonians Reserves (a realistic relegation rival), the team was in high spirits with the addition of some unfamiliar faces. Tom Edmonds, Theo Sturgis, Ben Wyver, Robbo, Justice and Tam all featured in the first team squad with 3 points a must in this crucial fixture.
It’s worth reminiscing over the home fixture unless you’re Bangers. The player that seems to play everywhere and nowhere simultaneously began to displease his opponents by irritatingly having to get the last word in in typical Bangers fashion.
This did not end how he had envisaged, a neck choke and a battered head brought frustrations to its boiling point as a brawl and two late goals from the oppo almost tied the game at 4-4. But Witan came away with the three points. This reverse leg was never going to be easy…
Witan’s pre-game talk given by JB began rather controversially by the exclamation that this could be “one of Witan’s best ever team”. Look on Roberto Carlos.
Despite this, the squad did have a lot of new players. Deciding to start with a false 9, emulating the success of City and Salah FC, this was a gamble Witan’s captains were prepared to take. With the 1s strikers getting their teeth fixed in Kosovo, the villain from the first leg (midfield Maestro Bangers) had to do a shift in the firing line and sweet talk his way through the half without getting smacked.
Witan completely dominated the first 30 mins, chance after chance, rumours are the possession stood at around 100%, a new record for this season. The Tenisonians did not know how to deal with this new system and more specifically that man Theo.
Twinkle toes left his opponents with stars and broken ankles as he weaved between the flailing attempts you could call a challenge. Ben Wyver’s early pass into the feet of the youngster was the catalyst to what followed. Little jinks past 3 or 4 players, opened up a bit of space for a 25 yard screamer from Theo. 1-0 Witan.
The flustered Tenisonians decided to copy Witan’s excellent back line passing out with little success as a poor clearance from the pressured keeper fell to the danger man who scored for his second of the game. 2-0 Witan.
Now looking for a third to surely finish off the game early on, Witan pressed high… too high. An attacking corner was cleared leaving a 2v2 counter at the back. Their lively winger was too much for the 35 rated pace of Witan’s young defence as an easily tap in was put home with Keir Baker still crying about that one time he hurt his shoulder. 2-1 Witan.
Witan kicked off with confidence, starting from the back as the ball was played generously to Ben Wyver who assessed his options. The fight-flight response was absent in Ben’s case as the sheer panic of the situation left the helpless CB frozen before the attacker was pulled down in the box for a cheap penalty kick. Tenisonians converted to leave the game at 2-2 in typical Witan 1s fashion.
With scenes replicating Moses leading the Israelities across the Red Sea, the tides appeared to have turned as Tenisonians put heavy pressure on Witan. Another play down the right, was parried away by Keir Baker, only to fall at the feet of the hungry CF. 3-2 Tenisonians.
Subs were regular as JB brought on the Bolivian Dynamite to try and add to his prolific goal scoring campaign. Remarkably a captains decision that reaped its rewards. Just before the half time whistle, Justice on the left took the ball down from the sky and looked to create an opportunity past the brick wall that had been laid in front of him. Only a pass to Almos was on, he did the rest. After jinking past two dizzy defenders his well wide shot took a generous deflection spinning over a despondent keeper.
HALF TIME
Dominating the pitch, Witan grew in confidence, leading the opposition to grow increasingly frustrated. Bangers took shelter on the bench during the onslaught for his own protection. After a few strange decisions by the referee, the game was halted as he interjected the squeals of Tenisonians by stating he had 100% got every decision correct. Paying the ref before the game was working wonders for Witan’s game plan.
The events that followed can only be described as a once in a lifetime. The moment that will be told by generations to generations. Echoes of “Unbelievable Jeff” were playing out across the South West as shivers and goosebumps could be felt by the spectators and players involved.
Justice (GOAT) Dapaa, take centre stage.
Receiving the ball in the centre, he swivelled and from 35 yards sent the ball first class into the roof of the net, the keeper having to simply sit and watch. Signed, sealed, delivered. An absolute wonder. Justice peeled off in exuberance. With a goal on his 1s debut, “Don’t be silly” was repeatedly beckoned by the utility man. Still to this day no one knows what this actually means and who was being silly. 4-3 Witan.
With Bangers coming back onto the pitch, tempers were high as sweet sweet revenge was taken by the false 9 who elbowed the player that cleared him out in the home fixture, leaving a pool of blood generously donated to the local blood donor facility.
The opposition were seeing bright red as they jumped into challenges and left one player in defence. Backs against the walls for the last 20 mins, something that Witan were all too familiar with. Chance after chance came and went as the opposition wondered how they had not equalised.
Witan were starting to tire, so much so that Jezla cleared out his much taller teammate Dele as cracks were starting to appear. Tenisonians capitalised.
A wonderfully curled free kick smacked off the top of the bar and was volleyed clear with howls of “Get it out”, remarks also heard by your Mum on a Saturday night.
In 90+1 minutes, a ball from the right was crossed in behind the back line, their striker shooting towards goal from 6 yards. Keir Baker did not obey the laws of physics as the Maradona hand of God messiah was reborn, keeping Witan with a one goal lead with a minute to spare.
Alas, Witan 1s do not hold leads. After all their hard work, the first team struggle to close out games. In the 93rd minute a lapse of concentration left their winger with space to cross a ball in to an open man to equalise at the very end. Scenes of joys erupted from the oppositions end as the Tenisonians celebrated an undeserved draw against the Witan First team. 4-4
Nothing much to say at the end of the game apart from the opportunity to have a cold shower with Bangers and catching the Cov off of Mr. Wyver.
A rare full house for after match drinks was fulfilled to ease the sorrows of the result, as an impressive hospitality by Tenisonians was brought out.
Joint MOM:
Jonny Baxter
Theo Sturgis
Haddock: Jez for taking out his own teammate
Goals:
Justice
Almos
Theo x2
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