Witan 1s ventured to New Malden aiming to defy the form book against Economicals. Back in October, just a stone’s throw away, Witan beat Old Strand 2-0 to go top of the formative league table. However, injury and illness had seen them struggle in recent weeks, while Economicals’ season was kick-started with a dominant 4-1 victory over Witan in the reverse fixture.
Pre-match, an unusually long warm up yielded three early haddock shouts. With goalkeeper Keir telling Mikey and Almos about the “beautiful daffodils” he’d planted that morning, Marcus conducted his warm-up in his Sunday best coat (“He looks immense”, said Marcus about himself). Jonny Baxter, with his Mum and Dad watching on, then put his still-not-fully-healed foot in his mouth by deriding a topless Marcus for holding up the team talk (noting the irony that he’d been wearing both a shirt and a coat two minutes prior), only to realise it was actually Bangers causing the hold up, with Marcus ready and attentive right in front of him.
With Captain Baxter only fit enough to start on the bench, Bangers once again took the armband for the day and set about marshaling Witan’s 11 fit players through the opening exchanges.
Just two minutes in, left-back Jez opened up the in-game haddock entries. With the Econ right winger racing down the line and (probably) dribbling the ball just out of play, Jez stopped dead in his tracks to appeal for a throw in, arm in the air, gifting the winger an unchallenged run into the Witan penalty area. Fortunately, as Witan reached for the panic button (not for the last time), the ref called the game back for a debatable throw in, allowing heart rates to return to normal. Unfortunately, this was perhaps the first and last piece of luck Witan enjoyed in the game.
After a flurry of dropouts during the week, Witan’s patched up squad was individually strong but understandably lacked cohesion and Economicals stamped their authority in the early exchanges, passing fluently across their excellent pitch and building incisive attacks down their wings.
It was in this vein that Econ opened the scoring after 15 minutes. The Econ right winger sprinted onto another through ball and crashed a low cross into the six-yard box, just too far out for Keir to claim. Ollie Potter did well to win the first contact with a monster tackle on the onrushing forward but this time fortune was not with Witan, as Ollie’s clearance pinballed into another Econ player and then into the net from six yards, leaving Keir helpless to intervene.
After 20 mins of scrapping, Witan’s midfield finally had chance to build a move of their own. Midfield general Sarly, combative as always, intercepted the ball and passed left to Jonny Page, who released Almos with a superb, lofted pass down the left wing. Cutting along the byline, Almos fired in a dangerous cross which “deflected off Bangers” (a somewhat ungenerous description) to Mikey but his close-range, first-time shot was blocked by the keeper.
22 minutes in, Baxter subbed himself on to cheers from the crowd and was immediately into the action, blocking an Econ shot on the edge of the Witan box with his first touch. Witan countered upfield to win a corner that was cleared to Bangers, who saw an ambitious 30-yarder fly true but straight at the keeper.
On 30 minutes, Witan almost equalised. Deybson and Bangers exchanged a one-two on the left and squared the ball to Jonny Baxter, 25 yards out, just right of centre. Controlling neatly, Baxter had only one thought and unleashed a curling drive towards the top left corner. The last time his family watched him play in 2019, they arrived at the pitch seconds after he scored a long-range, first minute screamer. This time, with parents in place and Mum’s camera poised and ready, Baxter’s effort curled, dipped and beat the keeper – but sadly not the crossbar, with the ball ricocheting away to safety. Agony for Witan and the Baxter clan.
Moments later, Baxter came close again after Almos bravely challenged the keeper. The knock down fell straight to Baxter but his first-time effort was blocked and looped just over the crossbar.
In what is now a weekly tradition, Jez treated the fans to some more throw-in drama. From next to his own corner flag, Jez took a quick throw to Keir when nobody, including Keir, was looking. Caught unaware, Keir’s eyes bulged as the opposition forward bore down and his rushed clearance fell kindly to an Econ player 40 yards from goal. The subsequent Econ attack ended with a corner, at which point Jez raged that Keir was not more like Ederson, Man City’s keeper-but-could-be-centre-mid.
With defenders distracted by this goal-line squabble, Econ’s quick corner into the box once again left Witan pounding the panic button. Keir sprung forward to close the angle but the forward somehow squirmed a cross past Marcus’ lunging tackle, between Baxter’s legs and around Keir’s despairing dive, where it was tapped in by an another unmarked forward from three yards – a vintage Witan set piece. Later, after almost winning haddock for this distracting outburst, Jez claimed: “This is harsh lads. I was merely complimenting Keir on his footwork ability and recommending he use it more.”
Half time, 2-0 to Econ. About 10 mins before the break, Ollie Potter had revealed to Captain Baxter that he was struggling with an injury: “I might have broken my toe”, he said, no doubt caused by one of his numerous big tackles. However, an already exhausted Baxter forgot all about this and sent Ollie back out after half time – for 60 seconds at least, until Ollie’s first touch saw him withdraw with what turned out to be a double toe fracture. Incredible cajones from Ollie to play on for as long as he did; a guilty Baxter definitely owes him a pint!
A hasty reshuffle saw Baxter fall back to CB and Sarly return to midfield, where he channeled his inner Kante to cover everyone and everywhere as Witan tried to hold firm.
In a second half dominated by Economicals, Witan still mustered moments of promise. On the hour mark, Jonny Page beat three opponents at once with an incredible control and swivel inside his own half, then shortly afterwards pounced on a slack pass and attempted to catch the keeper off guard with an early long range shot that trickled just wide.
Witan’s forward line of Almos, Mikey and Deybson saw their best moment of interplay lead to a decent effort on goal. Some nice footwork by Deybson on the edge of the box drew a clumsy foul, but Deybson’s cleanly struck free kick was saved by the keeper.
Until now, Witan’s tactic of short goal kicks had allowed them to build some forwards momentum from the back, with Danny quarterbacking and Jez and Marcus offering width either side. Arguably their best move saw Baxter receive the ball from Keir and play forward to Jez, who crossed to Mikey at the back post but his touch and shot was again saved by the keeper.
On 70 mins, after Marcus had made several defensive interventions down Witan’s right, Econ finally put the game to bed thanks to a gift-wrapped goal and a debatable refereeing decision. This time Keir’s short pass caught Danny off guard and he was immediately tackled by an Econ forward, who coolly strode forward and tucked the ball past Keir into the net. Danny and Keir were incensed that the ref didn’t notice the forward push Danny over but their protests fell on deaf ears and with this, the game was done.
Post-match, Sarly received a well-deserved MOM for his work in midfield, covering teammates throughout the game and leading the way with his composure on the ball.
The haddock was more controversial, with spectator votes (or non-votes) proving pivotal.
Jonny’s Dad, an experienced footballer himself, submitted votes with no hint of home bias, awarding neither MOM nor haddock to his son. By contrast, Jonny’s Mum could see no further than her boy for MOM and was too polite to submit a haddock vote.
So, following the precedent of “Keir’s Dad vs. Witan 1s 2019” momma Baxter’s decisive haddock vote was awarded to Jonny, ensuring he took the award for the second consecutive week.
On the plus side, she did provide a catalogue of excellent photographs so I think she’ll be welcomed back – as long as she doesn’t inadvertently vote me haddock again.
Report written by Jonny Baxter
Images taken by Jonny's Mum
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