Witan 1s came into the first game of 2023 with a with a much changed squad. Captain Baxter suffering with COVID (yes it's still a thing), Vice Captain Ben Wright with yet another injury, Keeper Keir Baker on a ski trip (praying he doesn't injure himself) and striker Josh out on a spa day with his missus (get your priorities sorted).
Jonny Baxter battled through his illness to be at the game to provide support from the touch line. Turning up to the game out of breath from walking. Ben Wright was nowhere to be seen though 👀 Bangers takes the captains armband for the day.
The game started off fairly evenly, with the Barnes bobbly pitch making it hard for either team to get the ball down and play.
10" - thier grumpy no.5 takes the first of many long throws, walks into the pitch to take it causing havoc in the Witan box with a big chance missed from the oppo.
20" - Two consecutive Brent set pieces fall to Michael, who tries and fails to dribble out of his own box through a crowd of Brent opponents, giving his teammates heart attacks in the process. From the second corner, Danny saves well at the near post, then Dele clears the rebound off the line for a third corner
22" - Michael plays a lovely through ball to Deybson, who tries (but fails) to lob the keeper. Witans first big chance of the game.
27" - Jez inexplicably goes down inside his own box shouting he's been "two footed". Nobody else noticed the tackle. Danny tells him to get up and stop playing everyone onside
32" - Danny palms a close range shot over the bar after ref doesn't notice the attacker was at least 5 yards offside. One of a number of questionable decisions from the ref
35" - Jez gets fouled on the Tipp-Ex touch line and tries to claim the foul was 15 yards inside pitch. Danny launches the resulting free kick up the line, Deybson brings it down expertly and sets up Tommy in the edge of the box, who fires a strong shot just over..
Immediately afterwards, Tommy picks up a loose ball and picks an excellent cross to Mikey, who leaps like a salmon, flops like a haddock (and earns one for the pathetic attempt)
38" - Brent score one on one after Witan lose the ball in middle of own half
42" - Brent score shot which catches a bobble and squirms under Danny's despairing dive
44" - Tommy scores left foot worldy from a knock down. Had time to look around and pick his spot
HT, 1-2
Witan start the second half positively after making a slight change to the formation, putting Brent under the cosh.
50" - Jez shot just over after several Tommy long throws
53" - Michael and Jonny Page both shoot from miles and miles out - both on target but both comfortable for keeper
57" - Jonny Page and Luke exchange two one-twos in CM, tidily avoiding several opponents, then Luke brings in Jez and Deybson down left for good move. Just missed the final pass/finish
61" - Michael bursts through three opponents and dribbles to right corner, sets up Tommy for cross from byline which is claimed by the keeper
70" - Brent score against the run of play, classic Witan defending from another grumpy no. 5 long throw - free header for their CM from three yards out. 1-3
80" - classic Witan defending from a corner, second ball poked into the net by a 17 yo. 1-4.
83" - Danny takes a goal kick straight to the forward on the edge of the box. Luckily he was too slow to capitalise and Ricky and Dele close him down before he can shoot
87" - Brent corner cleared back to corner taker, who crosses it into the far top corner - the classic Brent cross-goal. 1-5.
FT, 1-5
After the full time whistle Brent try poaching Michael, even offering their training details. FA investigation pending, we'll push for full sanctions.
Special mention to Danny for filling in in goal and punching and claiming nearly every monster throw and corner that came into the box.
Mom = Ricky for an excellent debut, kicking and heading everything and everyone that came near him. Didn't deserve to be on losing side.
Haddock = Mikey for shrinking himself to avoid heading Tommy's beauty of a cross into the net at a crucial point in the first half
Shout out to JB for coming to the game whilst stricken with illness and taking notes contributing to 99% of the match report.
Report written by Mikey Savage
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