Witan 1s had to travel far and wide to face Reigatians 2s for some revenge after their previous defeat. However, their journey was more difficult than Christopher Columbus’ as they had to navigate through strikes and delays.
Despite finally making it to the pitch, they were at the mercy of the referee, who seemed to have an anti-Witan bias.
The game started with Marcus breaking his boot by kicking an opponent's foot and ball at the same time. Talk about multi-tasking!
35 minutes in, Theo dishes out a juicy pass to Jake in the left channel, who then leaves the opposing centre back in a cloud of dust as he sprints towards the goal. Alas, the keeper was having none of it and pulled off a miraculous save to deny Jake's shot to the right.
Minutes later, Witan were jubilant as Josh managed to beat his defender and score a goal. However, their joy was short-lived as the Reigatian player threw a hissy fit and convinced the ref that it was offside. Witan was left feeling like a victim of a cruel joke, but they could only hope that the referee was done with his comedy routine.
Jez delivered a cross into the box, which was hooked to the far post by Theo, where Josh finished it off in style. However, the Witan players, scarred by the ref's earlier blunder, looked at the ref with pleading eyes. Unfortunately, the ref gave a goal kick, leaving everyone wondering if he needed a new pair of glasses.
At halftime, the score was as exciting as watching paint dry - nil-nil. The team expressed their frustrations with the ref's questionable decisions, but kept their fingers crossed for some better luck in the second half.
After the break, Witan seemed to be hit by a miscommunication virus that resulted in Diva and Dele misplacing passes, which saw Reigatian's striker intercepting the ball. But no worries, Dele quickly recovered to shut down their player from scoring. However, sensing the pressure that Dele was applying, their striker decides to take a dive.
The referee who seemed to have missed his morning coffee, called for a penalty, leaving many Witan players feeling outraged at the decision. And to add insult to injury, the penalty taker scored and put his team one up.
Only minutes later Deybson draws a foul, but his graceful fall did not go down well with the Reigatian players, who quickly surrounded him like bees on honey, convinced that he had taken a tumble of his own accord.
With Witan pushing hard to equalize, James tried to give Maradona a run for his money with his very own "Hand of God" moment. Sadly, his attempt lacked the finesse of the legendary goal and the Reigatian players were left scratching their heads as the referee awarded a free kick to the opposition. James was left dumbfounded as the ball was already going out for a Witan throw-in, so his hand ball was simply inexcusable.
Late into the second half, Theo’s shoulder must have been feeling particularly "handy"
as he brought the ball down and smacked a beauty of a half-volley resulting in Witans unofficial 3rd goal. But the referee wasn't convinced and called it a handball, claiming that the shoulder is just a fancy name for the hand's estranged cousin. Reigatian gets awarded a free kick, much to Witan's dismay.
Amidst the nail-biting tension in the last 10 minutes, Danny proves that he's a double dose of awesome by blocking not one, but two attempts from Reigatian to score. Looks like he's got a thing for saving goals like they're endangered species.
Frustrated Witan players went all-in to find a goal, but to everyone's surprise, our goalkeeper, Diva, had an epiphany and transformed into Prime Hazard! He dribbled past six Reigatian players and even managed to pull off a forward pass. Reigatian was left in disbelief and suggested that Diva should forget about goalkeeping and play as a striker instead.
Witan's hopes were dashed on an unfortunate day as they lost 1-0 away, but not due to their lack of effort. Instead, penalties being awarded for phantom fouls, and referees wearing blindfolds cost Witan the game.
MOTM – Danny for his great defensive performance with many blocks, tackles, and headers.
Haddock – James for an unexplainable hand ball.
Report written by James Silva on his Haddock Debut.
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