A beautiful autumnal Saturday matchday filled the Witan nostrils with a lovely fresh and frosty scent with the sun in full flight. The boys arrived promptly after their morning preparation, fresh and ready for the chance for consecutive wins. However, Ben then arrived with some questionably washed kit, much to the dismay of his teammates.
Fortunately, team spirit prevailed, all was forgiven and high spirits remained intact as temperatures soared to a lovely 30 degrees.... just kidding...
The squad was incensed at having to wear smelly kit as the rain clouds blew over for a mini shower. Thankfully the kit was already wet, so mini wins!
The Witan warm up commenced with energy and optimism, in contrast, the Old Strand'ers players trickled out of the dressing room with fear and a 12 pack of Budweisers. Mind games or opposition intoxication tactics at play! Without the club's leading scorer, Deybson, Hery Lima came in for his Witan debut. Also back from Santorini was old boy Joannis Baksteris, making his long awaited return after tying the knot (congrats mate).
The Witan 1s returned to normal duty in the management scene as Jonny took back control as Captain, with Ben Wright reluctantly handing over the reign. Memories of previous games were reminisced as Bangers foe, the kitbag sat hidden on the opposite side line, ready to pounce.
As the game begins, Witan look shaky, loose passes and pressure from Old Strand early on force mistakes from the back.
Against the run of play, Diva sends a long ball through to Jack, taking the ball past the OSA CB, he takes the games first shot, firing just wide of the post.
5 minutes in, a loose pass from Bangers, gives an attacking chance to Old Strand but its closed out for a wrongly given corner kick. Witan 1s achilles heel... a corner kick. I was looking forward to a week where we could say we managed to get through a game without a conceded corner goal but next week's free week might be the only possibility! Old Strand head in the games opening goal. 1-0 Old Strand (OSA).
Moments later, an immediate reaction from the Spanish Xavi, Fede and Mikey work a short corner, Fed takes the ball across the edge of the penalty box and drills a banger past the goalie. 1-1 and it's back level...... The bull fighter celebration comes out as Fede scores his first goal for Witan..... Seconds later, DISALLOWED, NO VAR CHECK, Witan are incensed and angry as the ref calls offside for no reason. CORRECTION 1-0 OSA.
The fight is on. Witan awaken. Some good play in the middle eventually ends with Jack Thorne hacked down on the edge of the box. He steps up and drills it to the goalies bottom left, what a finish. 1-1 (offside referee?).
Shortly after, Diva scuffs his goal kick straight to the OSA forward. OSA charging in for a one-on-one, Diva makes a strong double save keeping the game level.
Witan are dominant, playing two-touch football across the defence and up to the attacking players. It was really, really impressive to see, OSA couldn't get near the sky blues. Minutes later, a classic amateur football moment, a goalmouth scramble! Bangers caught in the melay lays the ball off to Marcel, who scores to make it 2-1 Witan.
Brazilian CDM Jackson, passes a long ball out to Bangers on the right, he dribbles past the OSA defence and hits a shot towards the keeper who makes a reflex save.
More play on the right results in a corner. Jez steps up and plays an in-swinging cross bang onto Danny's 50p head as it soars over the bar.
Witan's team play is improving evermore and manage to pull together an impressive play consisting of 30 passes starting from Diva, Danny and Deli at the back, but Witan are unable to convert the final piece.
With space appearing on the right hand side, Ben W picks up the ball inside his half and plays a pin point long ball to the feet of Jonny Baxter inside the box but Baxter is unable to convert as he pushes forward from midfield.
Trying his luck again, Ben sends another cross-field ball to Left winger Mikey in the box who lays it off to Jez who wins a corner, resulting in nothing from the set piece.
HALF TIME and Fede takes a piss behind the portaloo, with no kids in sight.
Witan start strong and boss the final third, the OSA keeper (backup GK/CB) plays a beautiful assist straight to Jack from the goalkick, who muscles off the defender and smashes it in to make it 3-1 Witan.
Looking for the next Witan uppercut to the OSA defence, Bangers grabs the ball from a pressured OSA threesome. Bangers, playing a nice one-two with Jack, pokes home a soft effort past the oncoming keeper, lucky to come out with his life. 4-1 Witan and on their way to an easy win.
Cutting into midfield from the right, Ben W is dispossessed in unfamiliar territory. The OSA technically gifted CM drives past Fede and into the Witan box. Danny, playing with high ping, takes a leaf out of Jonny's love book and sweeps the oppo off his feet. The only difference, no happy ending. PENALTY to OSA.
Time stands still... the striker glances to the right, steps up and Diva (already basically standing by the right hand post) palms the penalty away and into touch! Huge moment from the youngster!
Witan do not respond to the threats and give away a cheap free-kick in the middle. A long ball is sent forward, Diva hesitates to come and claim the ball leaving the striker to convert to make it 4-2 Witan.
OSA play some good interplay down the right side and attempt to pass LB Jez. He follows the attacker, putting in a goal saving block to keep the 2 goal advantage. Brilliant from the experienced winger.
Good play from OSA results in a through ball from to their attacker who clatters Diva two footed, Diva in agony as the ball drops out to the OSA forward who puts the ball into the open net. What could have easily been a straight red, instead led to OSA cutting the deficit with the ref admitting he made a mistake (but still let the decision stand). 4-3....... surely not....
The game is stopped for 10 minutes. Physio Jeremy comforts the fallen Diva, stethoscope to the ready and starts prodding his knee. After assessing himself he moves onto Diva to check that he is ok, whilst flirting (again) with our matchday referee - cleary age is just a number in Jez's eyes #golddigger.
"Shortly after their pathetic disgrace of a 3rd goal" (- Bangers, Berrylands pitches 2023)...Marcel sends in a delightful cross landing at Jack's feet, who turns and smashes the ball into the roof of the net. Justice. BBYYYEEEEEE. 5-3 Witan
Witan are now defending the lead and putting their bodies on their line. In spectacular fashion, Marcel attempts a sliding effort to prevent a stray ball from leaving the pitch. He fails and leaves a massive dent in the oppositions metal dug out.
10 mins to go and having clearly watched the new David Beckham (available only on Netflix, other streaming services are available), Jack receives the ball on the edge of the box and "Bend it like Thorne" into the bottom corner of the net. 6-3 Witan!!!
It's all over, Witan take the three points and move up to fourth in the table!
The night continues post game with a pub visit and attempted train return, leaving Fede's bladder gagging for a filthy South Western Railway toilet.
MOTM goes to Jack for his 4 goal showing, Haddock is given to Ben for his lack of washing ability.
Report written by Ben Wright
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