On the back of an important win last week, Witan 1s travelled to face the side they had taken apart on the first day of the season with a massive 8-2 win. With a combination of traffic, train cancellations, and Ben Wright travelling in the wrong direction meaning only one player arrived within 15 minutes of the arranged meet, preparation was far from perfect. Witan were also without defensive stalwart Ben De La Fuente, missing with trench foot.
Kick-off was kindly delayed due to the late arrival of keeper Keir Baker who found out en route that simply yelling “I am a lawyer” does not improve congestion or allow a bus to move more quickly.
Blackheath’s choice of home kit caused problems in the home game when the referee forced them to don bibs to avoid a clash. On this occasion the referee chose to allow them to wear it, and decided to neglect the offer of a bib, instead dressing like their 12th player – foreshadowing a number of his decisions.
The game started in bizarre fashion with goalkeeper Baker (reminder: a lawyer and here is his LinkedIn for proof) complaining about the position of the goalposts relative to the penalty spot. This arguably worked in his favour within the first two minutes as a Blackheath shot span onto the post – a more aligned goal might have meant the home side going ahead.
The official’s bizarre decision making impacted the first 20 minutes of the game. Firstly, Wallace was smashed into after clearing the ball, with the ref opting to give a goal kick to Blackheath. Shortly afterwards, Stat brushed off a challenge on halfway and drove past three more until being fouled on the edge of the box. The referee gave Witan the foul but insisted going back for the first challenge, meaning Witan’s set piece was in a far less dangerous area. Then, Blackheath were awarded a free-kick after a comical exaggeration – although there was debate on whether Tam had fouled the man or not, the “incident” was clearly within the box.
Liam Kenney made an amazing clearance from the freekick, heading off the line when a goal looked certain.
Prengas was causing the defence problems all day, having been hacked again (with the ref waving play on) he then saw a fantastic long-range effort tipped over. The resulting corner was also tipped over having swung in towards the goal.
A cracking shot from a free kick was tipped over by Baker, although his subsequent appeal to the sidelines to film future set pieces suggested this was an exaggerated save.
The referee again turned a blind eye to violence as Almos Beer was almost chopped in half - no booking was shown as the ref decided it was “his first one”, which would have been slightly less infuriating if the same player didn’t commit two equally bad tackles later in the game without punishment.
Only 30 minutes had passed, and it seemed unbelievable that it was still goalless – Beer smashed a shot off the bar from a tight angle, and Blackheath countered and forced another classy save from Baker.
After that, the half did somewhat peter out, with the final moments of the half including another embarrassing dive from Blackheath, this time the same player who had assaulted Almos (luckily it was his first blatant simulation so no punishment), Captain Baxter shooting well wide from 40 yards, and Ben Guyatt hitting a dipping volley just over. Half time, 0-0.
In the first 20 mins of the second half, Witan highlights were few and far between. Almos handballed near the touchline for no apparent reason – we’re still unsure why but can only assume he thought it had gone off. Guyatt hit a shot higher than Anthony Elanga’s pen. The ref continued to bemuse. When he gave a throw-in decision to Witan and suggested “he couldn’t see it”, there was no dissent from either side. But later on, when he had given three other decisions on the same grounds, it started to feel like he was making things up.
The Second half had started with a warning shot from the opposition, with Blackheath missing a very good chance from corner. Witan’s vulnerability from set pieces is no secret and having dealt with them well throughout the first half, it seemed inevitable that a goal may come from Blackheath’s dangerous deliveries. And that’s exactly what happened at 65 mins, 1-0 to Blackheath.
More corners lead to Blackheath repeatedly shooting just wide. Keir Baker made another great save, but then spilled a soft attempt for another corner and another goal. 2-0 and Witan were starting to brace themselves for the relegation battle.
The game was getting scrappy in the dying stages, but Witan couldn’t string any dangerous moves together. Ben Wright (fresh from COVID) was bombing forward from right back repeatedly but to no avail. Then with 5 minutes left, his throw in found George, who turned and caught the keeper out with a long-range effort that swerved all over the place (or was blown by the wind). 2-1, and George had two in two.
Now Witan had their tails up and with the game approaching injury time, they equalised. A clipped ball from Baxter towards target man George led to a mix-up in the Blackheath defence, the ball fell kindly for Stathis, and he was able to stroke home from ten yards out, leaving the keeper with no chance.
There was barely time left for Stat to get sawn in half again, the 78th foul committed by Blackheath on him this season, and final proof that the ref hadn’t bothered to bring his cards to the game.
Jonny had his name in lights but curled the free kick just wide (earning himself the harshest haddock nomination of the day from club "legend" Del Randall.
The final whistle went, with Witan arguably snatching a point, but feeling great about being on the correct side of a late comeback.
Haddock went to Almos for his mad handball despite strong competition from the majority of the squad for being late and Keir for being a real-life Beano character. Man of the match goes to Keir Baker for multiple great saves which just about cancelled out his haddock-worthy day.
Credit: Bangers
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